Updated: Jan 2, 2023
Hello, lovely readers! How are you? What’s new with you? :) I wanted this article to just be about people that are amazing, inspiring internet personalities, who are true to themselves and are embracing their unique set of qualities and interests and not trying to be like everyone else or fitting exactly into society’s box of thinking. (I do have some mentioned more towards the end! :) )
However, it turned into tips on how to find YOUR true self. At least the beginning steps. It starts with a little pep talk about why I think YOU should stop pleasing everyone when it comes to what you want to do or what you should do. :)
Free your spirit
Yup, it sounds very shamanic ;), but HOW AWESOME would it feel to just LET GO and don’t care what others think and do what you really want in your heart? For example, coloring your hair purple, NOT attending those parties you don’t enjoy, telling your parents you want to be a musician not a lawyer (this is a classic example, forgive me. But shows the point very well), telling your friends what you ACTUALLY think about the new fashion trends or telling them you hate gossip and don’t want to be part of it etc.
It sounds very scary at first, but the freedom that comes with accepting your values AND living by them is priceless. By being your true self you can make deeper connections with other people and yourself. Because not being true to yourself and not living by your values, is kind of like living in a lie all the time. I mean, you might not be telling actual lies, but the feeling inside, that what you are doing is wrong or doesn’t go with your true inner self, makes a heavy heart.
Starting tips on how to find your true self
“Who are you? Be yourself, live up to your values” – it sounds so dreamy, right? But what if you are confused about who YOU really are? What are YOUR values? I know, it is not that easy, especially if you haven’t listened to yourself in a long time (or even ever!). I know, it happens! But nothing to worry about, I have some tips here that hopefully will guide you in the right direction.
1. Observe
This is a big one. During this self-finding process, the observance is the key. You need to know how certain situations or activities make you feel. But don’t judge, observe. For example, how do you feel when friends are gossiping? What thoughts come up or what emotions? If possible, write down your emotions and feelings in a notebook just so you have something to come back to.
Find situations that don’t feel right
At the moment you don’t have to do anything different, just observe and find these situations when something doesn’t feel right.
Don’t just look for the negative situations, also look for good ones
Find situations where you feel a lot of good emotions. For example, seeing little kids in a shopping mall. Maybe you love kids and want to be a kindergarten teacher? Or maybe you get all excited listening to some particular music? Or do you really, really like that outfit? It can be anything, even the smallest and most irrelevant things. Write down every single thing you observe you get excited about.
Look for situations when you feel jealous
Jealousy is just an ugly way for your subconscious to tell you what you want in your life. I do not encourage jealousy, but observing these emotions can help you find out what you really like or want in life. For example, you might feel jealous of your friend who has lots of other friends. It might mean that you want a bigger circle of friends yourself or you want to have closer and more meaningful relationships with your existing friends.
Try not to get caught up in jealousy for things though. Yes, it can show what kind of lifestyle you want, but remember that things alone won’t make you happy or show who you truly are.
I have to add that jealousy is so popular these days because of social media and the opportunity for people to show their lives to strangers in an unrealistic light. So I get that you can get caught up in this bubble where someone’s life seems perfect and so easy, but, please, remember, don’t compare yourself to anyone. BE like that perfect Instagram girl in a way that she creates her own life, style, home, and state of mind and you should do the same. CREATE for yourself. Find YOUR way. Be unique.
Gather data, make notes and analyze
Take as much time as you need to observe your emotions and feelings. Keeping a diary during this time would be extremely helpful, but if you are not a diary person, at least make some quick notes on your phone.
Look through your lists and see the things or patterns that are repeating. Those things have something to do with your true self. You might have to do some additional digging and analyzing to 100% get out what your true self is, but hopefully, you now have something to start with.
2. Try new things
I think this tip goes in almost each of my lists. :D But observing yourself in a new environment can really tell you a lot about yourself. And maybe this way you will find new activities you didn’t know you liked because you had never tried them.
For me it was rogaining. Two years ago my friend gifted me participation in Riga Spring Rogaining 2016 and that was the first time I heard of such a thing as rogaining. And it was a really fun and crazy experience I very much enjoyed and since then we have participated in more rogaining competitions and it is kind of like my new once in a while hobby I love. :)
You never know. Expanding your horizons is always beneficial. I think that is why people go travel the world or to India to find themselves. Firstly, they try something extremely new, secondly, they learn so much about the World and different people, cultures, etc and this knowledge changes how they view themselves and their daily life at home. And thirdly, there are a lot of challenges to overcome, and sadly or not, we grow the most through struggle.
3. Turn off other people’s opinions
Temporarily delete all your SM (social media) apps from your phone, don’t visit Youtube or Facebook. If someone is directing you on what you should do, don’t immediately believe that they know what’s better; observe. Believe that you know what is best for you, and don’t listen to other people (even if they are your parents). You might agree with them, or you might not. Read books (maybe self-help ones?;)), go outside, talk to strangers or a good close friend, meditate or do yoga. Be with yourself. Look inside yourself the best you can.
Try to distance yourself from other people’s personal lives or personal opinions. This is a moment when you are looking for your own opinions and values.
4. Look through your childhood
What did you like as a child? What did you like to do? It might give you some insight into who you really are because as children we are just who we are. At least usually. But don’t take these answers for granted. Childhood dreams and favorite activities do show what kind of personality you have or what qualities are your strength, but there are things that could be your purpose that as a child you didn’t care about, for example, psychology or politics, or environmental problems.
It takes time. The answers to what your values are and who you are might not come to you in one or two days. It might come only after a month or three. But don’t be discouraged, observe yourself and let your soul free.
Even if finding your true self takes time, it is a freeing journey from day 1 because you decline opinions that have been forced on you. You might not know who you are just yet, but that is totally fine and you shouldn’t feel bad that you don’t have all the answers. You are looking, searching, observing. I am very proud of you for taking this journey! <3
Now on the part that I thought this post will be about. :D (see the first paragraph)
Inspiring people who are following their hearts and not society’s ridiculous opinions
Age is just a number – blog “Not dressed as lamb”
Starting with a fashion blogger Catherine who writes on her blog Not dressed as lamb. First of all, love her style! Second of all – on her blog, she combats the term “age-appropriate” which I think is fantastic. I do believe people shouldn’t judge themselves (and others) by their age number.
And let’s not even talk about situations when people don’t let themselves do something they want just because “oh, I’m too old”, “oh, I’m too young” or “what will people think” or are scared that other people will judge“oh, in her/his age! What is she/he thinking?”.
It is very normal to want to be accepted by other people, but that is not a reason to live less, just to fit in.
She also has a link up “I will wear what I like” where she encourages people to wear what they like (something you couldn’t tell by the title :D ;) ) and not follow fashion rules if you don’t like them. For example, wear leopard with stripes if that is what you enjoy etc.
And Catherine herself is living proof of how not to let other people’s ideas about what is age-appropriate ruin her sense of style and love for fashion. She is an over 40 blogger and her style is so fun, colorful, and interesting. I guess there are some people who would think her style is age inappropriate, but happily, in this modern age that kind of stereotype is finally breaking and age is not considered an issue in more than just a fashion sense.
Body confidence – Jessamyn
Jessamyn is amazing. She’s a yoga instructor and a plus-size lady. I am sure when she started out there were people that judged her and her ambitions. But I just love how she embraces her body and is very happy with it!
She is an inspiration on how not to let other people’s ideas of what you should or shouldn’t do bother you. Just do what you like and love! As long as it doesn’t interact with other people’s well-being. You know what I mean – f.e. being disrespectful is not a way to express yourself and call it self-love and don’t cares how it makes others feel.
She also breaks so many stereotypes about what curvy people can and can’t do that you have to love her for that. Stereotypes themselves are so stuffy and restrictive. Better ask questions and find out the truth than assume. Or even worse, let your assumption guide you through your life. Shake those off, right now! All your assumptions about yourself, your parents, friends, how things should be, etc! And open a door to a more free World, where you can be whatever you want to be because there are no pre-made assumptions about how life SHOULD be.
Living life a different way – Molly Burke
Molly is a YouTuber and motivational speaker (ah, would LOVE to hear her speech someday!) and, oh, she’s blind. On her youtube channel, she has a variety of different types of videos, from mental health to beauty tips. A very big part of her channel is also about educating us, abled-body people, on how blind people operate in this World. I have learned SO MUCH from Molly. From facts about blindness and accessibility to life advice.
I love how she is embracing her “disability” and I wouldn’t even call it a disability but just a different way to live. She has a very strong and inspiring personality, and she is so charismatic and sparkly. Molly really shows that you can do anything in this World and other people’s ideas of what you are or aren’t able to do are just shallow assumptions. Don’t believe those assumptions and stereotypes people are forcing on you! They are just not true.
Just go, check out her channel, you’ll understand what I talk about. ;)
Spirituality and mindfulness – Sheer Lev
Sheer is a YouTuber, mindfulness advocate, and HSP. On her channel, she speaks about a variety of topics but through all of them you can feel the mindfulness and love she tries to spread in the World.
Her videos really helped me to connect more with myself and see a bigger purpose in life. Even though I understand that all of her content might not be suitable for everyone because we gain strength in different spiritual practices, but her ideas and viewpoint really spoke to me.
Her channel has a calming effect – you feel loved the way you are. Shir has gone through some tough times herself, so self-acceptance and being your true self are big topics on her channel as well.
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Sooo… that’s about it this time! :) Wishing you the best of luck in the journey to finding your true self. I am very happy to see that you are looking for ways to embrace who you really are and live an honest, exciting life. :)
Tell me, who are your favorite inspiring people online or in real life? :)
With love,
Madara
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