“How to find your true self?” is a question I have often asked myself. It’s funny how we spend our youth losing ourselves just to look for who we truly are 10, 15, or more years later. But here we are.
Finding yourself is truly a blessing. It gives your life meaning, an aha! moment and drive to live. And to be fair, when it comes to finding yourself, nothing is ever lost, just hidden very deep under lots of layers.
Are you ready to peel those layers and start to explore your true self? Let’s begin!
Okay, actually, before we begin – here’s a disclaimer. This information is my experience and thoughts, but it is not a professional mental help. Always do your own research and if necessary visit a mental health professional. Better yet, I encourage you to see a specialist who can help you get ahead of life!
Free your spirit – stop hiding your true self
The reason why we have to find ourselves is because we have pushed down our true desires. It starts with little things: agreeing to make peace, allowing others always to decide (on restaurants, activities, even your life choices), and accepting (not correcting) the opinion about yourself from outsiders (for example, oh, she’s quite – she wouldn’t like to perform, etc).
Freeing your spirit sounds very shamanic ;), but HOW AWESOME would it feel to just LET GO and don’t care what others think and do what you really want in your heart?
For example, coloring your hair purple, NOT attending those parties you don’t enjoy, telling your parents you want to be a musician, not a lawyer (this is a classic example, forgive me. But shows the point very well), telling your friends what you think about the new fashion trends or telling them you hate gossip and don’t want to be part of it anymore.
It sounds very scary at first, but the freedom that comes with accepting your values AND living by them is priceless. By being your true self you can make deeper connections with other people and yourself. Because not being true to yourself and not living by your values, is kind of like living in a lie all the time. I mean, you might not be telling actual lies, but the feeling inside, that what you are doing is wrong or doesn’t go with your true inner self, makes a heavy heart.
Starting tips on how to find your true self
“Be yourself, and live up to your values!” – it sounds so dreamy, right? But what if you are confused about who YOU really are? What are YOUR values? I know, it is not that easy, especially if you haven’t listened to yourself in a long time (or even ever!). I know, it happens! But nothing to worry about, I have some tips here that hopefully will guide you in the right direction.
1. How to find your true self: Observe yourself
This is a big one. During this self-finding process, observance is the key. You need to know how certain situations or activities make you feel. But don’t judge, observe.
a) Find situations that don’t feel right
At the moment you don’t have to do anything different, just observe and find these situations when something doesn’t feel right.
For example, how do you feel when friends are gossiping? What thoughts come up or what emotions? Or how the office you go to every day makes you feel? Do you feel inspired or brought down? Is it the job or the people?
If possible, write down your emotions and feelings in a notebook just so you have something to come back to. And ask yourself a lot of questions. Dig deep!
b) Don’t just look for the negative situations, also look for good ones
Find situations where you feel a lot of good emotions. For example, maybe you always feel very content when you play with your nieces and nephews. Maybe that is an indicator that you love kids and want to be a kindergarten teacher? Or maybe you get all excited listening to some particular music? Or do you really, really like that outfit? It can be anything, even the smallest and most irrelevant things. Write down every single thing you observe you get excited about.
c) Look for situations when you feel jealous
Jealousy is just an ugly way for your subconscious to tell you what you want in your life. I do not encourage jealousy, but observing these emotions can help you find out what you really like or want. For example, you might feel jealous of your friend who has lots of other friends. It might mean that you want a bigger circle of friends yourself or you want to have closer and more meaningful relationships with your existing friends.
Try not to get caught up in jealousy for material things though. Yes, it can show what kind of lifestyle you want, but remember that things alone won’t make you happy or show who you truly are.
I have to add that jealousy is so popular these days because of social media and the opportunity for people to show their lives to strangers in an unrealistic light. So I get that you can get caught up in this bubble where someone’s life seems perfect and so easy, but, please, remember, don’t compare yourself to anyone. BE like that perfect Instagram girl in a way that she creates her own life, style, home, and state of mind and you should do the same. CREATE for yourself. Find YOUR way. Be unique.
d) Gather data, make notes, and analyze
Take as much time as you need to observe your emotions and feelings. Keeping a diary during this time would be extremely helpful, but if you are not a diary person, at least make some quick notes on your phone.
Look through your lists and see the things or patterns that are repeating. Those things have something to do with your true self. You might have to do some additional digging and analyzing to 100% get out what your true self is, but hopefully, you now have something to start with.
2. How to find your true self: Try new things
Observing yourself in a new environment can really tell you a lot about yourself. And maybe this way you will find new activities you didn’t know you liked because you had never tried them.
For me it was rogaining. Some time ago my friend gifted me participation in Riga Spring Rogaining 2016 and that was the first time I heard of such a thing as rogaining. And it was a really fun and crazy experience I very much enjoyed and since then we have participated in more rogaining competitions and it is kind of like my new once in a while hobby I love. :)
You never know. Expanding your horizons is always beneficial. I think that is why people go travel the world or to India to find themselves. Firstly, they try something extremely new, secondly, they learn so much about the World and different people, cultures, etc and this knowledge changes how they view themselves and their daily life at home. And thirdly, there are a lot of challenges to overcome, and sadly or not, we grow the most through struggle.
3. How to find your true self: Turn off other people’s opinions
Temporarily delete all your SM (social media) apps from your phone, don’t visit Youtube, Instagram, or TikTok. If someone is directing you on what you should do, don’t immediately believe that they know what’s better; observe. Believe that you know what is best for you, and don’t listen to other people (even if they are your parents). You might agree with them, or you might not. Read books (maybe self-help ones?;)), go outside, talk to strangers or a good close friend, meditate, or do yoga. Be with yourself. Look inside yourself the best you can.
Try to distance yourself from other people’s personal lives or personal opinions. This is a moment when you are looking for your own opinions and values.
4. How to find your true self: Look through your childhood
What did you like as a child? What did you like to do? It might give you some insight into who you really are because as children we are just who we are. At least usually. But don’t take these answers for granted. Childhood dreams and favorite activities do show what kind of personality you have or what qualities are your strength, but there are things that could be your purpose that as a child you didn’t care about, for example, psychology or politics, or environmental problems.
Finding your true self usually takes some time
The answers to what your values are and who you are might not come to you in one or two days. It might come only after a month or three. But don’t be discouraged, observe yourself and let your soul free.
Even if finding your true self takes time, it is a freeing journey from day 1 because you decline opinions that have been forced on you. You might not know who you are just yet, but that is totally fine and you shouldn’t feel bad that you don’t have all the answers. You are looking, searching, observing. I am very proud of you for taking this journey! <3
Now on the part that I thought this post will be about. :D (see the first paragraph)
Inspiring people who are following their hearts and not society’s ridiculous opinions
1. Age is just a number – blog “Not dressed as lamb”
Starting with a fashion blogger Catherine who writes a blog Not dressed as lamb. First of all, love her style! Second of all – on her blog, she combats the term “age-appropriate” which I think is fantastic. I do believe people shouldn’t judge themselves (and others) by their age number.
And let’s not even talk about situations when people don’t let themselves do something they want just because “oh, I’m too old”, “oh, I’m too young” or “what will people think” or are scared that other people will judge them.
It is very normal to want to be accepted by other people, but that is not a reason to live less, just to fit in.
Catherine also created a hashtag movement #IWillWearWhatILike where she encourages people to choose clothing and outfits they enjoy and feel beautiful in not what is age-appropriate.
And Catherine herself is living proof of how not to let other people’s ideas about what is age-appropriate ruin her sense of style and love for fashion. She is an award-winning over-50 blogger and her style is so fun, colorful, and interesting.
2. Self-acceptance – Jessamyn
Jessamyn is amazing. She’s a yoga instructor, writer, and content creator from the U.S. Learn more about her and her projects here!
She is an inspiration on how not to let other people’s ideas of what you should or shouldn’t do bother you. Just do what you like and love!
She also breaks many stereotypes about what people can and can’t do that you have to love her for that. Stereotypes themselves are so stuffy and restrictive. Better ask questions and find out the truth than assume.
Don’t let your assumptions guide you through your life! Shake those off, right now! All your assumptions about yourself, your parents, your friends, how things should be, and so on! Open the doors to a more free World, where you can be whatever you want to be because there are no pre-made assumptions about how life SHOULD be.
3. Living life a different way – Molly Burke
Molly is a content creator (YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok) and a motivational speaker. Her unique perspective on life comes from the fact that she’s blind. She started her content creator career on YouTube and her early work has lots of videos about mental health, beauty, and education about disabilities and blindness in particular. Now she focuses more on lifestyle content, fashion, and travel.
I love how she is embracing her “disability” and I wouldn’t even call it a disability but just a different way to live. She has a very strong and inspiring personality, and she is so charismatic and sparkly. Molly really shows that you can do anything in this World and other people’s ideas of what you are or aren’t able to do are just shallow assumptions. Don’t believe those assumptions and stereotypes people are forcing on you! They are just not true.
Just go, check out her channel, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. ;)
4. Spirituality and mindfulness – Sheer Lev
Sheer used to be a YouTuber now turned content creator on Instagram. She’s a mindfulness advocate and her Instagram description at this moment (16. oct, 2024) says: “Self-development and embodiment”. On her channel, she used to speak about a variety of topics but through all of them, you could feel the mindfulness and love she tries to spread in the World.
Her videos really helped me to connect more with myself and see a bigger purpose in life. Even though I understand that all of her content might not be suitable for everyone because we gain strength in different spiritual practices, but her ideas and viewpoint really spoke to me.
Her channel has a calming effect – you feel loved the way you are. Sheer has gone through some tough times herself, so self-acceptance and being your true self are big topics on her channel as well.
For the ending
.fSooo… that’s about it this time! :) Wishing you the best of luck in the journey to finding your true self. I am very happy to see that you are looking for ways to embrace who you really are and live an honest, exciting life. :)
Tell me, who are your favorite inspiring people online or in real life? :)
With love,
Madddie
Let’s stay in touch! FOLLOW Lookforsmile blog everywhere else online. :)
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